negative person

Every owner needs to recognize first and foremost that their people are their most valuable assets. The quality of people in your company can make or break you in the service industry. It is of the utmost importance to have only the best and brightest working with you to move your business towards success.

A successful practice/spa is supported by a positive environment. It is imperative to have a team that works closely together. This means clear communication and guidelines for them to follow right from the beginning.

Sometimes, even with system and structure you can hire the wrong person out of desperation to fill a slot or an existing team member’s outlook changes for the negative and can impact your business. As a matter of fact, most owners or managers keep a staff member on board 6 to 9 months after they first thought about terminating them. Everyone has at some time in their life and career run into difficult and or negative people. An important fact to remember is that only about 30% of the world is operating with integrity.

Look at this statistic as a gift. When you deal with challenging people it will remind you why you have chosen the road you’re on and keep you focused on it. It is obvious that this world contains a lot of negativity and it is up to us how we perceive and deal with it.

You can choose to ignore challenging people or situations and you can be guaranteed that they will not go away. When negativity is not dealt with quickly and decisively it will permeate your professional environment and affect your morale and bottom line.

Remember life is not a popularity contest. Everyone does not have to like us and we don’t have to please everyone. As a matter of fact, if you try to please all the time you are always going to fall short and most will not appreciate your efforts.

  1. Set your boundaries or other people will set them for you. Know what you want and need to be successful in your relationships and stick to it. You can’t change or control people. You can though control how you communicate with others. Maintaining boundaries isn’t easy. There are many who do not respect them and are like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park and are always testing your proverbial electric fence looking for a weakness. If they see your firm and consistent manner they will go in for the attack less and less.
  2. Pay attention to your “inner voice” it is usually 99% right. If you get a bad vibe off someone you are looking to interact with there is usually a reason. Pay attention and don’t try to rationalize your intuition away and talk yourself into something you will regret.
  3. Be Sherlock Holmes! Just like a job candidate check at least three references when applicable on anyone who you are hiring or going to have dealings with. Don’t just take someone’s word, their past actions with others will say it all.
  4. Be clear with your expectations up front and if it is a work situation have a formal written agreement. If you can’t make it through a contract up front maybe you shouldn’t be doing business in the first place. Have natural consequences outlined for what will happen if there is no follow through. Be receptive and honest. Communicate back and forth. If you are blamed, discuss with the person how you feel about being blamed, rather than point your finger back at them and blame them for blaming you!
  5. The “I’s” Have It. Using “I” statements describing how you feel will do much better than pointing the finger back at the person you are having a disagreement with and blame them for blaming you!
  6. Be a challenge solver! Take ownership for your actions, feelings, and communication. This applies to both people talking. Focus on solutions to challenges and not on dragging the problem out to exhaustion. In fact, it is so easy to complain and it sure takes time to think of solutions. Tell people who want to complain or not take ownership that they must have “two possible solutions” to their problem before they can discuss it with you. After a couple of times of you showing them the door until they are positively prepared will give them the hint.

Own your actions and your feelings. This also goes both parties. For the blamer, you are in control of your emotions and reactions to others. You have a choice regarding how you respond. Blaming also puts the initiator in the victim role as they are accusing others of controlling their lives and giving their power away. Instead of completely focusing on the negative with pointing the finger or a blame, try to move to the positive and work together. For the person who has the finger pointed at them, you also have a choice not to take ownership of someone else’s negative stuff. You choose how you feel no can make you feel a certain way. You decide how you are going to respond

The best solution is to please yourself first and that will automatically flow over to satisfying the people around you.

As an owner and a leader quick action needs to be taken when negativity rears its ugly head in the workplace. This means to identify and confront the issues or persons involved. It is important to understand clearly the situation at hand and all the facts that relate to it.

Never go into a conversation without knowing all the details and the possible solutions you can utilize to correct the challenge. This means taking the time to clearly think out exactly what you want to say and how you are going to act.

The most important consideration a person can make when entering this type of dialogue is not to do it in an emotional state.

We do not make the best and most clear decisions when we are emotional. This can compound the situation when the other party is running on emotional adrenaline as well. When you are feeling emotional over issues take time and step away so you come back when you are calm and prepared.

Five powerful tools for extraordinary communication

The most important thing you can do in a confrontational conversation is to close your mouth and really listen to other person’s information. Let them get all their points across and finish what they want to say.

Your next step in effective communication is to start asking precise questions based upon what they have said to uncover remedies to the challenge and resolve it. This takes practice and sometimes a great deal of patience. When you do take the time, it will pay off and your communication will be that of an effective leader.

The third step is to confirm the conversation to make sure you are on the same page.

The fourth step is to create action steps based on the communication to move both parties forward.

Finally, the fifth step is to place a by when date. In extraordinary communication, everything needs to be specific including time parameters.

When one of your staff has exhibited a poor choice of behavior remember to correct them in private, never in public.

When we critique someone, it is always the behavior not the person we are trying to change. Make sure to be very clear when you do this so as not to be detrimental to their self- esteem. Clearly explain to them why the behavior was inappropriate and how you expect them to interact as a part of your team in the future.

Role- play out your situations ahead of time so you feel comfortable in what you need to clearly bring across. Whatever you do never finger point or play the blame game; it will only hinder the solution process. Be very specific and let them know what the consequences will be if the behavior does not change.

An excellent tool for you to use would be to ask them what action steps they can take to create a different outcome in the future. When they must come up with ideas on how to change their behavior they are more likely to take ownership of those actions and make them a reality.

Let them know that you value them and want to see only their success and you are there to support them in any way you can. This ends a correction on a positive note.

When your communication is thought out and well planned you are truly setting yourself and the staff up to win. If the behaviors persist, make sure to follow through with the consequences laid forth to show you are serious about the quality of your work environment. Finally, be prepared sometimes to let people go if clear communication, guidance and consequences have not produced a change in their behavior. Remember, you only control your actions and not those of others. As a leader remove negative people from your work place as a last resort. This situation is where the other party has failed to take on the initiative to change, and being asked to leave is the best thing for everyone’s success. Refer to the Counseling Memorandum and the Decision-Making Leave sections in the Employee Manual both are located on the Medical/Spa Structure CD.

A “Champion Team” is made up of “we” people not “I” people. They are interested in the welfare of all. If there are people in your organization who don’t fall into the ideal description of what a team means to you do not hesitate to make changes, failure to do so could bring down the rest of the staff.


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